Eighteen Years
by pinkperson
Summary: After his "talk" with Squall, Laguna is visited by Ellone who has her own confession to make.


Laguna lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, thoughts swirling in his head. He couldn't believe that it had happened, that it was finally over. Squall knew that he was his father. Finally, he felt a massive weight lifted off of his shoulders. It just sucked that he couldn't have been the one to disclose it to him. Instead, Squall had figured it out on his own. Realizing that he had left clues all over the place left Laguna feeling like crap. He really hadn't wanted Squall to learn about it like that. In any case, it was out of the way now. Squall was officially aware that Laguna was his father. And he wasn't nearly as upset about it as Laguna had thought he would be.

In a way, that seemed a bit concerning...

Laguna heard a knock at his door and he sat up so he could greet whoever it was. "You can come in!" He called. The door creaked open, revealing Ellone who smiled tentatively at him. "Uncle Laguna, what are you doing?" She asked as she walked over to his bed and sat beside him.

"Just thinking about some stuff," Laguna said, feeling grateful for the opportunity to talk to someone right now. "Thinking about earlier...about Squall, mostly."

Ellone perked up at this. "Did you tell him?" She asked eagerly.

Laguna averted his eyes at this. "Ahh...not exactly. He kind of found out on his own. I swear, I should have seen it coming. I knew I was waiting too damn long," He said, pouting.

Ellone rested a reassuring hand on Laguna's knee. "All that matters is that he knows now. You guys can finally bond as father and son. Isn't that exciting?"

"So you think I should take him to Magical Moogle World or something?" Laguna said, half-joking. "Would Squall like that?"

Ellone covered her mouth in amusement. "I don't know if Squall is the amusement park type Uncle Laguna."

Laguna smiled at her then as he reached over to ruffle her hair. "Yeah, but you are, aren't you? Remember when I took you there when you were just a kid?"

Ellone frowned at this. "I got sick a lot didn't I? From the rides."

Laguna chuckled. "Yes, you did. But that didn't stop you from going on those rides that keep going in circles." Laguna paused a moment as he remembered this. "I think you barfed on my lap at one point. Kind of made me afraid to take you back there again." He couldn't help but feel better just reminiscing about the past whenever he was with Elle. He truly loved spending time with her because she made him feel like maybe he wasn't such a doofus after all. Kind of the opposite of how he felt around Squall.

"I still remember that," Ellone said, chuckling. "I felt so bad. I thought you were gonna get mad at me, but you didn't make a big deal of it at all."

"Maybe I should have given you a spanking after all," Laguna joked, eyes twinkling.

"So, how exactly did Squall take it?" Ellone asked, switching the subject. "Was he upset?"

Laguna's smile faded as he thought back to what had happened in his office just a couple of hours ago. He then quickly summarized how the talk went, with Ellone listening with great interest.

Squall had been punctual as expected. Laguna had a horrible case of leg cramps long before Squall had even arrived as his mind began throwing up all sorts of possibilities as to why Squall wanted to talk to him. He'd tried his best to sound at ease over the phone, but it didn't take long before he was consumed by anxiety. It was just very unusual that Squall would want to actually come to Esthar without it being for some sort of assignment or mission. Laguna had to take more than a few swigs of vodka in order to get himself to relax a bit before Squall's arrival.

Then there was the talk itself. Squall had gotten to the point quickly, shocking Laguna. He couldn't believe that Squall had figured it out before he could tell him. Laguna had actually considered telling Squall within the next few days and he'd felt disappointed that he hadn't gotten the chance to do so. But to his great relief, Squall wasn't enraged as he'd expected he might be. Instead, he seemed rather subdued about the revelation.

"So, it seems like things went a lot better than you thought they would, Uncle Laguna," Ellone said happily. "You know, I'm still proud of you even though you didn't get to tell him before he found out."

"Thanks, Elle." Laguna sighed. "I knew I should have trusted you. You know Squall better than I do. You were right like always. Miss Smarty Pants." Ellone giggled at the nickname that Laguna had given her when she was much younger.

"So, what nickname should I come up with for Squall?" Laguna said as he turned to look at Ellone. "Smarty Pants is already taken. Maybe we should go with Mr. Boogeyman because he scares the bejeezus out of me. Or Mr. Lion because of his gunblade. _And_ because he scares the bejeezus out of me."

"He's not that scary once you get to know him," Ellone said a bit defensively. "He's really a sweet kid. He reminds me of you a bit, actually."

"Really?" Laguna said scrunching up his face. "Please oh please tell me he doesn't get leg cramps when he's upset..."

"Nope, it's just you who gets them. It's really weird that it only seems to happen to your right leg, though."

"it's just weird in general," Laguna said. "I hate when it happens. And I can't believe I still get them after all these years. You'd think I'd get used to, you know, feeling anxiety or whatever without freaking out like that."

"Maybe you should try meditating," Ellone said. "It might help to clear your mind and get you to relax."

"Maybe..." Laguna said, though he felt unconvinced.

"Anyway, I was _going_ to say that he reminds me of you because you're both so kind. You have such good hearts," Ellone said as she reached over to rest her hand on Laguna's leg.

Laguna felt his heart clench at her kind words. "That's sweet of you to say, Elle. Thanks." His niece was so caring and seemed to truly love him. It meant the world to him that he could always depend on her in his moments of weakness. She never failed to encourage him and make him believe in himself.

But he slowly became aware that her hand was still on his leg. He shifted a bit, moved a little further away from her as he sat against the backboard of his bed. He hoped that she didn't notice that something was amiss, as he sat with his legs bent and his arms around his knees.

Ellone's head lowered as she placed her hands in her lap. She began playing with the shawl that was around her shoulders. "Uncle Laguna, how is everything?"

Laguna blinked in surprise. "Everything's great, Elle. Everything's great now, anyway. Now that you-know-what is done and over with. Why do you ask?"

Ellone raised her head and began looking at him as though she were studying him. Laguna tried smiling at her as though to reassure her that everything was fine, but he felt his smile falter quickly under the intensity of her gaze.

"Elle? Is something wrong?"

Ellone sighed then as her face relaxed. "I just worry about you sometimes. I mean you're always so busy with your job that I barely ever see you anymore. And whenever I do see you, you always...you look _sad_ , Uncle Laguna."

Laguna opened and shut his mouth in surprise. "What are you talking about, Elle?" He reached forward to brush aside Ellone's hair, smiling warmly at her. "I've got nothing to be sad about, kiddo. Everything's going fine with my job, Kiros and Ward keep me company, I've got you to talk to whenever I want, and now Squall is part of the family as well." He rested a hand on Ellone's cheek. "I'm not sad at all, Elle. I promise. I'm actually pretty happy, honestly."

But Ellone brushed his hand away and frowned again as she turned away from him.

"Elle…" Laguna said, uncomprehending.

"You know, I really missed you," Ellone said softly. "It's so great to just be sitting here with you like this."

"I missed you, too. You don't know how bad I felt while we were separated. I felt like kicking myself every single day since I left you and Raine that day, Elle. I mean, clearly the writing thing didn't work out."

Ellone smiled then, reassuringly. "Don't sweat it. It's all in the past. And you're not in the wrong for making that decision anyway. There's nothing wrong with wanting to pursue a passion."

"You really did grow up," Laguna said, almost in awe. It was bizarre to speak to an adult-sized Ellone at times. He was so used to babytalking with her in the past that he almost had to bite his tongue at times, feeling the urge to do so again.

There was a pause as the two of them shared a moment.

"Do you remember when you saved me from Odine's lab?" Ellone asked quietly.

Laguna blinked at this. He hadn't thought back to that memory in a long time. "Yeah, of course I do," he said. "I'm so glad I took you away from that creep. That room he kept you locked up in...man, it was just creepy. I still can't believe he'd do that to a kid."

"Yeah...I was really scared. I was so happy when you came and got me out of there."

"It's the least I could do, Elle. There's no way I'd leave you in a place like that even a second longer than I had to. Just thinking about Odine gives me the heebie jeebies. I mean, he looks like some kind of clown or something. What's up with that?"

"I kinda wish you'd punched his lights out," Ellone admitted laughing a little.

"Y'know, I wish the same thing."

The two of them sat in silence for a little while. Then slowly, Ellone turned towards Laguna and they locked eyes for a moment. There was an intensity in Ellone's gaze, as though she was trying to tell him something. Laguna shook his head wordlessly, uncomprehending. Then Ellone leaned forward towards him, making Laguna's breath catch. The emotion in her eyes just before she shut them was unexpectedly intense.

Laguna's eyes began darting around the room as he fought to find a way out of this situation. Before he could, Ellone shifted close towards him and then, placing a hand on his leg, leaned in for a kiss. Laguna's eyes bulged as their lips connected. His jaw went slack and she took this as an invitation to slip her tongue in between his lips and into his mouth. After a few seconds, Laguna felt himself start to relax as he responded to her kissing. He placed a hand against her cheek, caressing it as he deepened the kiss. It was only now that he felt like he'd been waiting for a moment like this for so long...for too long. He hadn't so much as touched a woman in over a decade. Ellone's hand began creeping up Laguna's thigh, making him shiver.

But after just a couple of minutes, Laguna pulled away from Ellone. He was breathing hard and he knew that his face was red as well. Ellone on the other hand looked perfectly calm and content as she smiled at him softly.

"Uncle Laguna..."

It sounded a lot different from the way that she'd said it just minutes earlier. It sure as hell didn't sound like the endearment used by a niece or daughter.

Laguna's insides were at war as he struggled to make sense of what was happening right now. A memory of him scrambling about on all fours as an overjoyed Ellone rode on his back popped into his mind. It was a far cry from the grown woman who was looking at him with lust in her heavy lidded eyes right now.

" _Aunt Raine...are yoo going to marry Uncle Laguna?"_ Ellone's voice echoed in his head.

Laguna suddenly felt shame rise in him. He'd felt consumed by passion while they were kissing, but now as he sat next to Ellone in the aftermath he felt as though he'd committed some kind of sin. Not only was she half his age, but she was also connected to Raine and she'd seen him as her uncle for so many years. Even if they weren't blood related it was just plain awkward.

"Laguna? Is everything okay?"

Laguna forced a shaky smile at Ellone as he tried to regain his composure. "Yeah," he lied. "I'm okay. It's just...I wasn't expecting that. At all."

Ellone laughed. "I've been wanting to do that for a very long time," she said.

Laguna wasn't sure if he felt like that was such a good thing. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he turned away from her. There was something inside him that just didn't want to look at this as a positive thing no matter how Elle felt about it.

"How long?" he croaked out, not sure if he truly wanted to know.

"Since I was a teenager," Ellone said shyly. She seemed to notice Laguna's discomfort as she reached to place a hand on his knee again, but Laguna pushed it away, a bit harder than he meant to. He didn't have to look at Ellone to know that he'd hurt her, but he couldn't help himself. It was as though her touch had burned him.

"A teenager? That long?" Laguna wondered if he'd somehow given Ellone the impression that he was interested in her in that way. He couldn't understand how in the world she could have feelings for him, especially at such a young age. I mean, when he thought of the young Ellone that he cared for, what came to mind was giving her horsey rides and playing hide and seek with her. How could she have fallen in love with someone who treated her like a daughter? It just didn't make any sense. "What...how…?"

"And then when I saw you again after so long, I just knew. I knew that I didn't just see you as my uncle. I really like you, Laguna. You're so kind and dependable. You're always there for anyone who needs you. I...I think I love you."

Laguna's heart pounded so hard he felt like it might burst through his chest. Was this really happening? He almost wanted to pinch himself as though he'd wake up from this absurd dream.

"Laguna? What's going on? What are you thinking?"

Laguna shut his eyes as he placed his hands in his hair. He needed an escape from this situation. It was just too much. On top of everything else going on in his life, he didn't need this. He felt overwhelmed. Plus she was calling him _Laguna_.

"I think…I think you should go," Laguna said quietly.

"But I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Laguna," Ellone said, shaking her head in disbelief. "It's been eighteen _years_."

"You think I don't know that?" Laguna snapped, as he let his hands fall from his hair. Ellone winced at the outburst. He shook his head as his eyes watered. "Elle, I'm not going to talk about this right now."

He hated talking about Raine and about him moving on. It was pretty much a forbidden topic. He never got angry at Elle, yet he could feel himself start to grow irritated with his...his...whatever she was.

"You act like you're happy, but it's obvious that you're not," Ellone admonished. "I see you looking at pictures of her like she died just yesterday. Raine wouldn't want to see you like this, Laguna. She wouldn't want-"

"How would you know what she wants Elle? She's dead. _Dead_. A fucking skeleton in a coffin. And she died because of-" Laguna stopped, catching himself. He didn't want to talk about this. Not now. Hyne, where was Kiros when he needed him…

"Because of what? Because of you? Is that what you were going to say?" Ellone rubbed a hand against her face in exasperation. "Uncle Laguna, you _didn't_ kill Raine. It's not your fault. Why can't you see what's obvious?"

"You don't get it, Elle. You really don't."

"Don't get what?" Elle asked, pained.

"I...I left her when I should have stayed. Simple as that. Maybe I could helped out in some way with the delivery. Maybe if I had just been by her side she wouldn't have bled so much. If I had just held her hand maybe she wouldn't have...she wouldn't have…" Laguna's vision blurred as he suddenly felt weak. "Elle, I'm gonna ask you one more time to please leave," Laguna said, as he gripped his knees tightly, feeling the muscles in his right leg beginning to cramp up. He was _this_ close to physically removing her from his bedroom himself. And he didn't want that. " _Please_."

Ellone stood up then and shot him one last angry look. "This isn't the way to solve your problems you know. Of all people, I can't believe I have to be the one to tell you to grow up. But I'm gonna say it anyway. Just _grow up_ , Uncle Laguna". She stalked out of Laguna's room and slammed the door shut behind her. Laguna was left in shock because he'd never heard Ellone speak in that tone of voice before. She was normally so tranquil and she rarely ever got upset, much less angry.

Laguna felt tears prick his eyes now that he was alone in his bedroom. He couldn't believe it. This day was turning out to be a complete shocker in every possible way. First Squall had confronted him and now Elle who was practically his daughter had confessed her feelings for him. And apparently she'd felt like this for a while. The fact that he'd even for a second looked at her in that way, as though she were someone he'd want to be intimate with disturbed him.

He hated to have upset Elle just the same. He never liked upsetting people and did his best to avoid doing so but he'd been so shocked by what had happened that he felt like he had to be alone in order to process things. Now he had no idea what to do in order to fix things. Clearly he didn't reciprocate Ellone's feelings.

...Or did he?

Laguna felt his entire body tremble as he began to wonder if maybe that was why he was so upset. Maybe deep down there was a part of him that had seen Ellone in this way for years. He couldn't deny that he'd noticed that she was attractive and he of course loved spending time with her and talking to her. He also couldn't deny that he'd had unwanted thoughts of her of a sexual nature. But he'd never thought of actually acting on them.

Laguna shuddered feeling deeply uneasy. How could he look at her like that? She was like a daughter to him. Not only that, but she was like a daughter to Raine as well. It seemed like a twisted betrayal to have feelings for Raine's daughter…

Laguna got up from his bed unable to take sitting there any longer. He had to go out. He was feeling suffocated being inside the presidential palace for as long as he had anyway. He needed to go outside and just take a breather. Get some fresh air. Maybe take a walk and try to clear his head.

As he left his office, and stalked out to the exit of the palace, Laguna tried his hardest to stop thinking back to how it had felt when Ellone had slipped her tongue in between his lips, how his heart had pounded in his chest when her hand had crept up his thigh.

And how, deep down, he wanted to feel that way again.


End file.
